Have you ever had an addiction?

I think we all have some kind of addiction. It could be spending too much time on social media, eating more than we need, or something even more serious like medication or drugs.

Whatever it may be, we know that being a slave to compulsive behaviour is harmful. The question is, how do we break free from our addictions? Most of the time, we rely on our willpower to control ourselves.

But what happens when we use willpower? In my experience, with willpower alone, the change doesn't last long. I find myself going back to old patterns. And when I do, I hear an inner critic with a scolding voice:

• "You're so weak!"

• "If you don't stop doing it, you'll end up being a loser."

• "Why can't you be like XYZ? If she can do it, why can't you?"

Does this sound familiar? This sort of inner talk only makes matters worse. We feel guilty, and it lowers our self-esteem and confidence.

Let me share a way to break free from addictions that are enduring. It starts by first becoming aware of their origin.

Addictive behaviour begins with trying out something to meet our needs. For example:

• When we feel bored, we try to meet the need for excitement on social media.

• When we feel lonely, we try to meet our need for connection by having food.

• When we feel insecure, we try to meet our need for security by making more money.

These may give us a temporary high, but ultimately they are poor substitutes to meet our needs. Food is meant to meet our need for hunger, so no amount of food can satisfy our need for connection.

• Our need for connection can be satisfied with an authentic connection with other humans.

• Our need for security can come from contributing to our communities.

• Our need for adventure can come from moving outside our comfort zones.

Once we become aware of the need behind our addictions, we look for better options to meet our needs. The right choices will help us feel satiated and enable us to break free from poor substitutes that we're addicted to.