Why Letting Go Sets Us Free
When we think about addiction, our minds jump to substances, screens, or shopping.
But there's a more subtle addiction that affects nearly all of us: the addiction to control.
This need for control shows up everywhere:
We try to control nature through technology
We attempt to control our children through rules
We seek to control the economy through forecasts and regulations
The moment we lose control, anxiety takes over.
This addiction for control runs so deep that we even experience it in our spiritual life. Consider how we pray.
"God, if you help me get this promotion, I'll donate more to charity."
"If you heal my illness, I'll never miss my prayer again."
Sound familiar? We've turned prayer into a business transaction, bargaining with God like merchants in a marketplace.
But here's the thing: Prayer was never meant to be transactional. It was designed to be transformational.
Let’s explore how, but first we’ll take a look at this Sufi Comic:
Art by Charbak Dipta
Think of squeezing sand - the tighter your grip, the more it escapes through your fingers. Many of us pray trying to control the outcome, but a deeper prayer happens when we open our palms and surrender.
But what does surrender mean? Surrender to what?
We surrender by acknowledging a simple truth: "I am not in control."
There’s a force animating through the universe that keeps electrons spinning, planets rotating, and stars burning. This same force is running through me and my thoughts. This force was there before me and will continue after me.
Prayer is an attempt to align my heart and mind to that force.
Yes, I want good health, happiness for my family and financial freedom. But I can't achieve these things on my own.
And I don't understand the grand scheme of things. I don't even know if these things are good for me.
The Quran reminds us that our limited perspective can't grasp the full picture of what's best for us.
"And perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not" (Quran 2:216).
Therefore I need God's guidance to give me what I need that is best for me.
With that mindset, I then pray to God for what I want. Each time I choose trust in God over control:
My heart becomes more serene
My prayers become more sincere
My anxiety decreases
When I approach prayer this way, I'm allowing what's best to happen, not necessarily what my mind wants.
And it becomes easier for me to accept what happens instead of fighting it.
Prayer becomes a practice beyond just asking God for things, but a process of reflection and transformation.
In a world obsessed with control, one of the most powerful things we can do is let go.
